LIVE THROUGH THIS (part 10)

I woke the next morning like a half-dead zombie. I had one of those nights where sleep didn’t come easy. My head full of so many thoughts. The mystery of Kayla and what she means to me. She kicks so much ass on so many levels.  I love spending time with her. But how do I feel about being more than friends with her?  I do believe Sid now. I think she’d like to be more than friends, but I’m not sure about me. On one hand I really like the idea, but on the other hand, I’m scared. I don’t know shit about what I’m supposed to do, or how to act. When she touches me and kisses me, my heart flutters. Does that mean I like her?  Or is it animal instinct and young desire?  I’ve honestly never thought about sexual things before, well before she came along. How do I respond to her touching me?  Kissing me?  I have to do something or she’ll think I don’t like her, or get tired of waiting for me, and look somewhere else. It’s all so confusing and frustrating. 

And then there’s the business of the farm house. I’ve heard stories. Scary, scary stories. The place is legend around here. Ten years ago some kids went missing and it was said that someone heard them talking about going to the farm. They were never found. The cops said there was evidence of people using the abandoned farm for a place to hang out and do bad things, but they found no evidence of major crime. 

They boarded up the front door and windows, but I can see with my binoculars, the boards have been broken. 

My sister says the missing kids thing is just urban legend, made up by the parents, to keep us from going there and raising mischief. 

There are also stories of the place being haunted. I do know that when I’ve been down there, it’s creepy, and I swear I heard noises in the house, and felt eyes watching me. That’s when I run like hell to get home and promise myself, I will never go down there again. Well, at least until a girl wants to go there, and I don’t want to be a big chicken. 

So I laid there with the full moon (of course) illuminating my room with ominous shadow play, and all these confusing thoughts filling up my head. 

I docked The Division Bell, one of my sleepy time go-to’s, closed my eyes, and let the music take me. Before the album finished, I was lost somewhere in dreamland. 

It had to be, that when I threw open the blind in my bedroom this morning, that the sky would be painted in such a dark, depressing grey.  A suffocating blanket of doom and gloom.  The day that awaited me, was damp and cold. The perfect day to write off, and lock yourself away in the warmth and comfort of the indoors. Hot chocolate and chicken noodle soup.  Today will only multiply my lack of sleep by ten, I will struggle though this one. Maybe Kayla will want to reschedule our adventure. A rain out…I can hope. 

There was no plan to reschedule. Her thoughts were that the weather couldn’t be better for a trip to the haunted house. She was bubbling with excitement, so as we entered my house after school, to get supplies, there was no way to avoid the inevitable. 

The rain had stopped, but the sky was still sheet metal grey. The strong wind, forcing a damp chill. We added a layer to stay warm (soon she’ll have half my clothes) and headed down the familiar path. Kayla with her excited energy, and dreams of a good scare. Me with  my overtired, unenthusiastic fear, safely hidden away. We reached the edge of the property and took our first step into the tall grass. Kayla looked over, saying “this is going to be so much fun.”

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