Luckily the combined mental exhaustion and the physical fatigue from hockey, allowed me to drift off into dreamland sooner than I would have expected…
I was outside, walking through the tall grass behind our property. The  full moon hung hugely, just over the horizon. It was the kind of moon that made you do a double-take, and wonder how close it had moved in. I swore if I walked toward it, I could reach out and touch it. It’s   brilliance casting long shadows.  The dew kissed, blades of grass, licked at my exposed calves, from the occasional gusts of wind. There was an eerie silence, where normally I could pick out the sounds of distant trains, or lonely trucks on the far off highway. 
I marched through the rolling hills, determined for answers I sought, from the farm, in the valley below.  I was without fear, feeling a sense of unusual power within me. As I approached the depressed, old house, the temperature decreased with every step, locking the perspiration to my clammy skin.  The closer I got, the colder it became. A thick blanket of fog danced off the rugged earth and my own breath became visible with every exhale. A moonlit shadow reflected an ominous tree across the side of the house. It’s many arms swaying slowly with razor-sharp claws, as if warning me of my trespasses. 
I floated up the steps, crouched down, and crawled into the mysterious abode, like some sacrificial lamb, but I was not afraid. I adjusted  my eyes to the near pitch-blackness, and my ears to the eerie dead silence. I smelled a slight fragrance of something burning. Almost near enough to to be familiar, but not quite. I also heard the distant sound of music. Not loud enough to identify, but undeniably present. 
As my eyes adjusted to the layers of  grey and blue-black, I saw a distant orange glow from the top of the staircase. I climbed the broken stairs, mindful of the gaping hole that fell into the basement far below. From the top of the stairs, I could see the source of the glowing light, at the end of a long, dark hallway. I cautiously walked toward the flickering light with the smell of burning wax, filling my nose. The music became clearer with every step. An ancient sounding jazz, with a plaintive, female voice. 
Suddenly time itself, slowed down to a sickening crawl, as I made the final footsteps toward the last door on the left. I peered around the corner into a dimly lit room. 
In one corner sat a small table, with a victrola phonograph, spinning the melancholic lp, pushing the thin sound through a lampshade horn. I scanned the wall along the back. It wore an intricate patterned wallpaper, twisting maroon vines on a yellowed cream background. Gothic candelabra provided the dim light, in various spots throughout the room. Centered on the back wall was a detailed, hand carved headboard, stained in a dark cherry. Below, sat a tangle of black bed sheets, strewn about the mattress. 
Then I saw the subtle movement within the many folds of the silky sheets. Two small, milky-white orbs, slowly gyrating at the center of the bed. I became transfixed with the erotic movements, as it rose and sank deeply, carving a valley into the unknown. The candles painted the slender torso, and strong back a soft red color. I slowly moved in closer, never taking my eyes off of the flawless, smooth skin. Curves and colors I thought I knew, and studied before. As I got to the foot of the bed, a chorus of euphoric moans seeped into my ears, in rhythm to the slow motion dance. 
Then, in the blink of an eye, the body sat up to his knees, slowly swaying, as if in some kind of trance. He rotated his body toward me, looking at me over his shoulder.  Somebody beneath him, lifted her head from the pillow, to stare at me as well.  Wearing the same blank expression. 
At first it didn’t register in my brain, what I was seeing. Then it struck me, like a strong punch to the stomach, robbing me of all my air. I was looking into the faces of Mark and Kayla. Their eyes pure white, where the iris and pupil should be.  It was them, but it wasn’t. They looked possessed by something not human. Then they started to laugh sadistically, hysterically, with the sound of a hundred voices.  I was frozen at some kind of altar of pure evil, trying desperately to escape. My mind was telling me to run like Hell, but something was holding me back, forcing me to watch the nightmare before me. 
I was overcome with a flood of emotions. A collection of anger, shock, jealousy, and profound sadness, as I watched the scene unfold. All at once the laughter stopped. Kayla sat up higher and they both reached out toward me, holding their arms straight out, with an unblinking, deadpan stare. 
I found my feet and slowly backed up into the hallway, never once, taking my eyes off of them. Once out of their sight, I turned and ran. I jumped down the staircase in two giant leaps, crashing to the floor below.  I felt broken bits of glass stuck in my knees.  I screamed silently from the stinging pain. I crawled to the front door, my escape. The broken board was gone, replaced by a blood-red steel door. The knob would not turn. I pounded, but it was no use. I turned, to see if there was another way out and spotted Kayla’s silhouette, standing at the top of the stairs. Her white eyes glowing brightly. Then I saw Mark clawing his way up through the gaping hole from the basement. 
I edged my way along the wall into the kitchen, my feet sliding on broken glass and garbage. I had never felt fear like this ever before. It felt like I could pass-out from the traumatic overload.  There was simply nowhere to go. I was trapped and I was going to die. 
They approached me slowly and had me pinned in a corner. I sank, drawing my bloodied knees up into my chin.  I couldn’t look at them, but I had to look at them. My face was a mess of tears and snot, as I wept and pleaded for them to spare my life. They closed in on me, extended their arms, and chanted ‘join us’ over and over. I felt their ice cold hands contact my face and shoulders as I yelled out a blood curdling scream, at the top of my lungs. 
I woke up in a sitting position, fighting to catch my breath. My body was coated in sweat, yet I shivered uncontrollably. I frantically scanned my room, looking for anything out of place. I flipped on a small lamp on my end table and laid back down, to slow down my heart rate. My entire body ached, like I had just run a marathon. My clock displayed 1:47AM.  There were still many dark hours before dawn.
I’ve had my fair share of nightmares, but this was a whole new level. It was more vivid, and more realistic than anything I’ve felt before. I laid awake for a good half hour, unable to shake the horror from my mind. If I tried to close my eyes, the images would reappear, as if I was sliding back in where I had left off. It became clear to me that I wasn’t going to get any more sleep tonight. 
I tried to dissect the dream, figure out what it meant. Was it just some fucked up nightmare, or did it hold some deep meaning?  A riddle I hadn’t solved yet. 
I became enthralled with Mark’s naked body. Although I had never seen him completely nude, the dream captured every contour as I would imagine it. Whenever I closed my eyes, I was brought back to the foot of the bed, spying on his nakedness.  His sexual movements.  His thin torso, when he raised to his knees. His erected penis, when he rotated toward me. The small, fuzzy patch of wispy hair below his waist. 
Seeing him with someone else was my greatest dilemma. The real horror that stung me the most.  My fantasy of claiming ownership of his body and soul. Of him and I being one. My outlandish desires that are probably never going to come to be.  
And then there is Kayla. Filling the needs of her strong sexual desire. Needs that I have not fulfilled for her. Seeing that place she made for me stripped away, because I didn’t satisfy her itch. Filling that place with the one I truly love. What a wonderfully awful web I have spun for myself. 
How fucked up am I, to focus on these details, over everything else? All the fear and horror, and I can’t shake the images of my naked friend. 
I was prepared to lay awake for the remainder of the night.  An unwanted all-niter. I just couldn’t see a way to shake this off. 
At 5:30 I heard my mom rummaging around downstairs. I went down to tell her about my lack of sleep, and ask her permission to take the day off from school. She took a good look at me and thought that was a good idea, as long as I promised to try to sleep during the day. 
As the sun came up and took away the oppressive darkness, I felt myself relax. Maybe I would be able to catch up on sleep, and give my mind some rest. 
About fifteen minutes before the bus was to arrive, I sent Kayla a text. 
“Sick today. Not going to school. Come to my house after school. I’m not contagious!”
She replied “poor baby 😦  get well and I will for sure come over!”

Sleep tight!


5 responses to “LIVE THROUGH THIS (part 23)

  1. Hello David
    Very, very intense. Daniel's fear and horror at the content of his nightmare is almost palpable. No wonder he needed a day off to recover!

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B


  2. Your description of the dream-walk through the back property in the dark of the night in the light of the newly rising moon and all that follows is almost overwhelming. It is truly poetic and image inspiring. I felt myself getting colder as the old farmhouse was approached. I was literally holding my breath as he climbed the stairs to the room above. The images he saw there are now burned into my mind. I could smell the burning wax myself. My chest clenched tight as he fled down the stairs, reached the unopenable door and was trapped in the corner. My knees hurt from the broken glass. This is almost too strong a description for me to stand. I guess I don’t remember such descriptive writing before.

    This is truly a gift you have, I can’t imagine where it will take you the rest of your life.

    Daniel sure has an extremely active mind, both awake and asleep. This gives him extraordinary ability in everything he does but at times, like this dream, and sometimes in life in general, I can see how it can be a burden most people don’t have to bear.

    Now we have to wait longer to know what Daniel says to Kayla and how she reacts to it, and then of course there’s still Mark to deal with. I have no choice but to wait but it will be difficult.

    I continue to be astounded at your awesomeness.


  3. Fuck!

    That dream man, freaky stuff! Your ability to describe things in just enough detail to put you in the scene, without over doing it for the sake of 'being descriptive' is perfect.

    It's funny the things that the mind will focus on in a situation. The big things usually don't register, but the smallest little thing will be the focus of all your mental process. The mind can be a confusing thing sometimes.

    I'd totally take school off after that night too!



    P.S. I hope you got outside on Wednesday. It was simply orgasmic to be out in the sunshine in a t-shirt for the first time in god knows how long! I rode the bike down to Red Wing for a quick trip. Hung out by the river for a bit before heading home. It was awesome! The cold, bleak oppression of winter is over!


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