A quick(ish) message.

I’ve held onto this next section for some time. I’ve read it about a hundred times. Rewrote some parts. Took sections out. Put them back in…you get the idea. But ultimately, I always felt most satisfied with what I originally wrote. I promised myself from the beginning, that I would write honestly, in spite of potential fallout. For that reason, I’m sticking with my original version.

This section documents a particularly important night in Daniel’s life. A collection of events that carve the path toward growing up, if you will.

My warning to you is, that I left it raw. When I attempted to “Disney” the context, too much was lost. If you take offense to what is written, or believe it is too close to being vulgar, maybe this isn’t the right story for you. The events that are documented here, are in no way, a sign of ‘a change of direction’ I’m taking with this story. They are merely events.  Important, rare events.

I’m probably making this out to be more than I should, but it’s in my nature to do so…

Thanks for reading.

About a half hour later, Kayla came bounding down the trail, struggling with a hockey bag, yes a hockey bag, full of ‘supplies.’

“Daniel. Gather up some wood. I have one more load to get.”
“What the Hell is all this stuff?  Are you moving into my woods?”
“Wood. Daniel. Wood.”
“Do you want help?”
“No gimpy. I got this. We need a fire, and it’ll be dark soon.”
“Aye aye captain” I responded officiously, as I stumbled into the woods to gather some brush and twigs. I hauled a few loads over to the fire ring I have behind the skating pond, along the brook. It’s a nice secluded spot, that hides well from all angles. 
I made a nest of dry twigs and started a teepee of slightly larger pieces over the top of it, when Kayla returned with her second load. She tossed me a lighter and within a minute I had a nice fire going. 
“Nice work Daniel Boone,” Kayla complimented. 
I stood up from my handiwork and proclaimed, “shit. I’d put any Boy Scout to shame.  So…are you going to tell me what’s going on here?  What’s with all the stuff?”
She unzipped the large hockey bag and pulled out two folding chairs. 
“First. A place to sit.”
She next pulled out a couple of plates and plastic forks.  
“For eating.”
Then came out some blankets and pillows. 
“For cuddling, or looking at the stars, or if we get cold.”
Then she walked back to the trail and dragged out a good sized cooler. 
“Food and beverage.”
“Wow Kayla…I thought you might like, bring me a sandwich or something. This is insane.”
“Well, it’s the second half of your birthday. The PARTY!  Silly boy.”
“Ahha…nice. Very nice, but I do have one question for you. How did you end up with this much coolness?  I mean, you are cooler than, like a whole group of people, and you’re only one person. It’s just not fair.”
“I don’t know if you’re sweet, or just a big dork.”
“Lighten up. Here, let me show you the the food.”
She pulled out a bag Doritos, triple-mix popcorn, marshmallows, and hotdog buns. Then she took out a package of hotdogs, to fill those buns. What she pulled out next caught me by surprise. Beer. 
“Umm…what’s that for?”
“What do you think?”
I felt my mood change immediately. It didn’t go undetected by Kayla either. 
“Daniel?  I’m…sorry?  I didn’t know you would be so upset. It’s only a little beer.”
“I…I know. It’s just…my dad drinks a lot, and well that’s usually when he…”
“Great. Now I feel like shit. I’m so sorry Daniel, if I had known, I wouldn’t have…”
“It’s ok. You didn’t know.”
“I just thought…it could be fun.”
“Yeah?  Maybe, but what if…I…like…get like he does.”
“You are not your father. Anyway, I could take you.”
Successfully getting a smile from me, I replied “yeah right!”
“You want one?  You’re a rebellious teenager now. Act like one.”
“What the Hell” I responded, as she handed me my first ever can of beer. 
We both popped them open, and clanked them together with a ‘cheers.’
“Yuck!” I screamed, swallowing my first gulp of the cold liquid. 
“I kind of like it” Kayla replied, before tilting her head back, for a second gulp. 
I reluctantly brought the can back up to my lips to take another sip. “It’s not that bad, I guess. So how much do we drink before we like, feel something?”
“I don’t know, but I think we should cook the hotdogs first, before we drink too much.”
“Good idea,” I said, as I started to carve down a couple of branches to impale our food on, and hold over the fire-pit. 
We cooked our hotdogs and munched on some snacks and slowly drained our first beers of the night. 
“Have you drank a lot before Kayla?”
“Nope. First time.”
“I drank a little wine before, but that shit is nasty. Do you feel anything yet?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. You?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think so.”
Kayla reached back into the cooler and dug out another bag. 
“I got this too. It looked fun.”
She held up a bottle with Root Beer Schnapps written on it. 
“Damn!  What is that?”
“It’s like hard liquor. You just take sips of it.”
“Like whiskey?”
“I don’t think it’s that hardcore. Let’s try some.”
“What are you trying to do?”
“Get drunk. Have fun. Party. Do whatever.  Come on Daniel. It’s just you and me out here. This is like the last night before winter gets here, and it’s your birthday. Tonight, let it go, and let’s just have some real fun and not worry about anything. I promise we won’t go overboard and get sick or nothing. This is your present from me. A night of devilish fun.”
I felt a smirk cross over my lips.
“Hand me the bottle” I demanded, and she did. I brought it to my mouth and took a healthy swig. The instant burn in my throat caused my eyes to bug out. I felt the burning alcohol run a hot trail all the way to my stomach.  I quickly slammed what was left of my beer and let out a loud howl, to finish my initiation. 
“Hot damn!  That shit is nasty, but I feel it now. Holy shit. I’m buzzin.”
I took another swig and immediately started coughing. 
“Slow down nature boy!  You’re gonna get sick in a real hurry. We’ve got all night. Take it easy, ok?”
“Yeah yeah. Sorry. I just…feel…good. You got any music?  It’s too quiet. Tell me you brought some music.”
She reached back into her bottomless bag, and dug out a pair of powered speakers, along with her ipod. 
“New batteries. This should last a while.”
She scrolled through her playlist for a while, before smiling to herself. 
“This is the closest thing to country music that I own. It kind of fits the vibe, in my opinion.”
The music started with a couple of electric guitars, noodling around their fretboards in a kind of controlled chaos. 
“Fuck yeah!  This is perfect” I said, as I dove into a fury of air-guitar rocking. 
“You are such a dork!  A cute dork, but definitely a dork.”
“Tonight, I don’t care!  I feel good and I’m having fun. Come dance with me.”
Kayla stood up like a good little trooper, and we danced, and giggled for a few minutes. After two songs, we agreed we were both, too tired, and too thirsty to keep jumping around. Kayla went right back to that cooler, but this time she brought out two cupcakes. One of them with a candle sticking out of the top. She lit the candle and presented me the cupcake. 
“Happy birthday Daniel. I hope you’re having fun tonight.”
“The best fun!  I love you Kayla…you’re the best one I got.”
I leaned into her, and put a kiss on her lips. A quick, innocent kiss between friends. 
“I’m truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for…for the a-hole I was all week. Thanks for still being here for me.”
“Always, but don’t you dare try that again. I will kick your ass next time.”
As the clear sky succumbed to darkness, we continued to sit in our chairs, drinking and talking. I would occasionally get up to toss another log on the glowing bed of embers. Each time I got up, I was aware of being a little bit drunker.  A little bit gigglier. And a little bit more honest. 
At one point, I announced “I need to take a monster piss.”  I stood up and walked a few feet, to the edge of the woods. Still very much in view of the glow of the fire. I felt a smile work it’s way over my lips. I was certain, what I was about to do, would go down in history as one of the greatest improvised comic routines in recent time. When I pulled up to a stop, I peed kindergarten style. I unzipped my jeans and threw them and my underwear right down to my ankles, and started to pee. 
“OH MY GOD!  What are you doing?” Kayla screamed, in total disbelief. 
“What?  I’m going pee.”
Kayla continued to laugh, but then she stumbled upon a little brilliance of her own. There was a quick flash from behind me. 
“Did you…?  What did you just do Kayla?” I said, suddenly regretful of my little display. 
“What?  What?  I didn’t do nothing. 
I zipped up and turned back around, only to see Kayla fidget with her phone. 
“You didn’t!  You took a picture of my ass?!”
“Yeah, well, you put it in my face.”
“It was a joke. You’ve got to delete that. Please.”
“I will, as soon as I send it to your mom.”
“WHAT?  You wouldn’t do that.”
“Why not?  She knows we’re down here, so why not show her what we’re doing?”
“Yeah, you’d only never see me ever again.”
“Nice ass by the way. A little white and very tiny. Cute! Hey! You want to see it?”
“Give me that” I said, trying to snatch the phone from her hand. 
“Oh no you don’t. You’ll delete it. I’m keeping this one safe. Never know if I’ll need it someday” she replied, guarding her phone like it was made of gold. 
“You suck” I said, sulking my way back to my chair. As far as I know, Kayla never showed that picture to anybody, but I’m sure she still had it.  



“Can I see your ass again?  I’d like to try and get a better picture.”  

“Fuck you Kayla.”

“Awe. No fun.”
We drank and talked some more, until Kayla recommended we bring some blankets and beer out to the grass field, away from light, and look up at the stars. When I stood up this time, I nearly tipped over. My voice was getting noticeably sloppy, and my words were running into each other. Kayla was in better shape than me, but not by much. We somehow managed to stumble our way out to the open field. We laid a blanket flat, over the cold, bumpy earth. We bunched up another blanket, as a pillow, and laid down on top of it. A third blanket covered us to our armpits. 
We laid there in contented silence, melting into the magnificent landscape. Even in my jumbled state of mind, I was well humbled by the awesomeness of the vast universe. I thought back to an earlier time. As a child of about six, I remember hot summer nights, laying on my back in the front yard. Experiencing stargazing for the first time. My view of the world has changed a lot since then. My life has changed a lot too. But the feeling is the same. The buzz that sticks in the center of my mind. The need to know and understand the mysteries of the universe that are not meant for us to know.  Trying to figure out where I, so insignificant and small, fit in, inside this unimaginably massive expanse. 
As I continued this journey inside me head, Kayla brought me back to Earth, by asking “what ya thinkin about?”
“Same thing I always think about when I look at the stars.”
“And what is that?”
“Which one belongs to me?”
“Mmm…good question. Which one do you want?”
“The next one to fall.”
“Why that one?”
“Because then I get to make a wish.”
“Good one.”
“What one do you want? I asked back. 
Kayla pointed up to the sky. “That bright one right there.”
I followed her finger and asked “a satellite?  You want a satellite?”
“Shut up!  It’s not a satellite. It’s a bright, bright star” she responded, slugging me on the arm. 
“I don’t know. It looks like it’s moving to me.”
“It’s not moving. You’re just drunk.”
“Not yet, I’m not” I said. Then I pulled the bottle of root beer schnapps from beside the blanket, took a big swig, and announced “now , I’m drunk.”
I presented the bottle to Kayla and she took another drink. She handed it back to me and said “one more each and I think it’ll be empty.”
We did take one more each, and then settled back down on our make-shift bed. 
“Wow!  How’re you feelin Kayla?  I know I’m drunk now.”
“I’m warm and cozy and my head is buzzzzzzinnn.”
“Haha. Yeah. Me too.”
“So, what about Mark?”
“I want to kiss him!”
“What?  Drunk boy. Did you do what I asked?  Did you call him?”
“No. I want to kiss him.”
“Ok. Weirdo. Why didn’t you call him?”
“I couldn’t. My dad got home.”
“Promise me you’ll call him tomorrow. Ok?  It’s important.”
“Ok. I want to kiss you.”
“So kiss me.”
And I did. For about a minute. It was not just a friendly kiss either. It was determined and passionate, like a kiss we shared once a long time ago in my bedroom, with my mom and sister downstairs. Only this time, we were very much alone. I broke from our kiss and laid down beside her again. 
“Mmm. That was nice” Kayla spoke lowly. 
“Yeah” I agreed. 
“Can I kiss you back?” She politely asked. 
“God yes. Please d…” I started to reply, only to have my words cut short by Kayla’s silky, warm lips covering my own. She toyed with me, placing small, butterfly kisses on various spots on my mouth. Her soft, warm fingers, found the bottom edge of my sweatshirt, and slowly crept up my chest. She found my heartbeat, and placed her hand over the top of it. She finally split my lips with her tongue as we kissed deeply again. 
After a few wonderful minutes of kissing, she broke free. “Sit up” I was instructed. And soon my sweatshirt was removed, up and over my head. 
“I was starting to feel a little hot” I joked. 
“Just you wait” she responded, while removing her own sweater. She gently pushed me back down again and pulled the blanket back over us, as she placed her lips on my chin. Her hand found its way back on my chest, softly massaging my skin with her magic fingers. She kissed a trail along my jaw, to just below my ear. She softly licked and sucked my flesh there, exhaling gently into my ear. It was a sensation like nothing I had ever felt before. My body started to squirm, and even though I felt hot, I was shivering. 
My hand shot up the back of her t-shirt and I pulled her into my side, caressing her perfect, soft skin. I felt like I would have pulled her through me if I could have. She kissed and sucked lower on my neck, but I dipped my chin, forcing her mouth back up to meet mine. I kissed her like never before, as there was a fire burning, deep inside of me.  She draped a leg over my body and I pulled her in close, massaging her tight thigh, through her jeans. I kissed down her chin and found that place on her neck, she had found on me. Kissing, sucking, tasting her, trying to copy her sensual maneuvers. She ground her body against mine, rhythmically. We danced, rocking back and fourth. It was so animal. So pure. 
There was no need for thought, as instinct took over, and guided us along. I slid my hand up the front of her shirt, and closed my fingers around her breast. My untrained hand was delicate, seduced by her erected nipples.  Her hand trailed down my chest and found a familiar place, rubbing my waistline from the center to my hip, and back again. On one pass, she unbuttoned the snap on my jeans. On a later pass, my zipper was lowered down. Her hand found a new resting place, lower on my abdomen.  Erotically close to the source of my desire. I was so far beyond inhibition and fear, she could take me anywhere she wanted to go. 
I resumed to finding that place on her neck, as she moaned and her fingers itched, mere inches from my center. The looseness of my opened jeans gave her hand new space to wander, as she slid to my thigh. Where she rubbed it up and down, so painfully close. 
Kayla then lowered her head and lifted my shirt in one swift maneuver. She began kissing my exposed chest, while I caressed her silky hair. And just when I thought my education had peaked for one night, she sucked my nipple into her mouth, opening me up to another unbelievable sensation. 
I was on the edge of something spectacular, if I could somehow manage to survive. She was taking my naive (yes, I’ll admit it) life on a sexual journey that was a very significant awakening. 
Then, as she came back up to my lonely mouth, it happened. Her hand slid across the short distance, to rest on my erection. She caressed me with soft fingertips, as her lips played over mine. And as her tongue parted my lips once more, her fingers gripped me. I was merely a spectator at this point. Unable to give much back as far as our kiss went. She pulled on me for what couldn’t have been much more than a minute, when an unbelievable feeling took over my entire body. My very fingers and toes curled, and I held my breath, as a tingly sensation swept over the all of me. Then a spastic pulse shot from my very core. Wave after wave of euphoria washed over me. A bliss like I never felt before. 
It was at that moment that Kayla introduced me to my first orgasm. Dry or otherwise. Mine was the otherwise. 
She released me and cuddled against my panting body. “Happy birthday Daniel” she whispered, and kissed me on the cheek. 


7 responses to “LIVE THROUGH THIS (part 35)

  1. Hello David
    Having tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to write myself, I know that the only way to achieve anything in that direction is to be true to yourself, and leave the 'audience' to make of it what they will. And anyway, at least as I experienced this chapter, on my way to work this morning, the content isn't at all gratuitous, but, as you suggest, part of an honest narrative of Daniel's life. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B


  2. Wow… I am glad you didn’t leave anything out. This is powerful writing and a magnificent first experience in the life of a person. I think everyone would wish to have had such a first experience. Surely after this, Kayla must always be a part of Daniel’s life no matter what happens afterward with Mark.

    This chapter was certainly worth waiting for. There is a lot of experience and adventure still remaining for Daniel but this night was indeed a major milestone along the path of life, something to never be forgotten nor minimized.

    I too thank you for letting us peek into Daniel’s formative years. – Aof


  3. Kids and alcohol always scare me! (guess Kayla couldn't score any weed?)

    I hope Daniel doesn't learn to take refuge in “The Bottle” (props to the late Mr. Heron.)

    Great chapter.




  4. Extremely powerful, and I can see why the non-Disneyfied version would be best. There's nothing pornographic about this at all, it's an honest description of a boy's first time, and shouldn't be turned into a side note. The honesty of this part shines through, and I know I saw a lot of myself in the whole experience – not a mirror or copy of – but the whole growing up, first time, I guess the AWARENESS that comes with it.

    Thanks for being honest. It suits you.

    Peace <3


  5. Hey David, finally got caught up again.

    I think you wrote exactly what you needed to write; no more, no less. Obviously this was a huge moment in Daniel's life and it had to be conveyed the way it happened. And it was beautifully written.

    The only complaint I have is, why is it always root beer schnapps?! The amount of people I know whose first drink of hard alcohol is root beer schnapps amazes me. That shit is gross!





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