gjenfødelse IX

I came out of the bathroom and snuck back into Mark’s bedroom. I saw the clock display indicate it was 7:06. Pretty early, but I realized it would be pointless to try and sleep anymore. Besides, the idea of sleep was kind of freaking me out.  I found my jeans on the floor, but was quickly reminded of lasts nights soda incident. They were still a bit damp and kind of crusty. I dug my phone out of the pocket and made my way toward Mark’s dresser. I found a pair of soccer shorts and a t-shirt and tried to shield myself from the winter basement chill.

I laid down on the couch in his private living room and flicked on the tv. I snuggled under a blanket and just vegged out.

There was something erotic to me about wearing Mark’s clothes. I know I’m pretty weird, but I was clad entirely in his clothes, and I liked it. I brought part of his t-shirt to my nose and inhaled. It was unmistakably all Mark. Even through the oceanic fabric softener, I could detect subtle tones of his personal fragrance.

I let my mind wander, imagining his perfect body underneath the very outfit I was wearing now.  How he would look in them. How they would fit him differently than me. I ran my fingers along the white silky material on my thigh. I imagined it was Mark’s thigh underneath this soft fabric, and not my own. I closed my eyes as I explored further, rubbing my fingers along the ruffled ridge at the waist.

I thought back to the night before, and how close I came to feeling all of him. I didn’t want to stop, but I had to. But what if I didn’t?  I slid my fingers under the tight waistband, feeling the soft, warm cotton of Mark’s underwear. How I wish it was his body beneath them, and not my own. How I wish it was his excitement I felt looming below, and not my own.

I had passed the point of no return, and my need for release was overwhelming.  I shed myself of the final layer and brought myself quickly to completion.

Although it was magnificent, as always, I couldn’t ignore the hollow emptiness in my heart. The missing component. The love that makes this action a shared experience. My longing for Mark grew every day.

I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, and returned to the couch. At some point in the mid morning I dozed off again. Some time later, I woke up with a heavy weight on my stomach. I opened my eyes and saw Mark, sitting on me, watching tv.

“Ughh. What are you doing?”

“Oh. Hey. Watching tv. You’re on my spot.”

“Oh. G’morning…fat ass.”

With that comment, Mark started bouncing his body up and down on my stomach.

“Uhhh!  Uhhh!  Stop!  Stop. I’m gonna pee. You’re bony ass is crushing me.”

“I thought I had a fat ass.”

“You don’t. Trust me.”

He stopped bouncing, but remained there, sitting on me. “Why are you sleeping out here anyway?”

“You kept farting. I couldn’t sleep in that stench.”

“Shut up!  Seriously?”

“No. I just woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I came out here to watch tv and I guess I did fall back asleep.”

Mark did eventually jump off of me, and I held my promise and scurried to the bathroom.

“Nice outfit,” Mark commented as I passed by him.

“Oh, ummm…I hope it’s ok. My stuff is all crusty from last night. I didn’t want to wak…”

“Shut up and go pee. Of course it’s ok.”

With that taken care of, we headed upstairs to the kitchen, to look through the cupboards for nourishment. Mark’s mom was standing at the counter, filling a travel mug with coffee.

“Morning boys. I got called in to work for a few hours. Some holiday break huh?  Anyway, you’re on your own for breakfast or lunch. I should be home by dinner. Danny, I can run you home if you need me to then. Mark, I’m going out with G…I’m going out tonight, so I’ll be pretty late. You need to watch your br…”

“Mom. You can say Gary. It’s ok. I know he’s your boyfriend. I’m not stupid.”

“Anyway, you need to watch Adam tonight. Danny, what time do you need to be home by?”


“He’s not going home. He’s staying again tonight.”

“Are you sure?  Did you check with your mother?”

“Not yet, but I’m sure it’ll be ok.”

“Ok boys. I’ve got to run. See you later.”



After she left, Mark asked “you’re cool with staying again, right?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Good. We’re gonna have some fun tonight. Hehe.”

“Why?  What’s up?”

“You’ll see. Trust me. You’ll have fun.”

“So you’re not gonna tell me?”

“Nope. Not til’ later.”

“You suck.”

“I know. Let’s eat.”

As promised, Mark kept me in suspense all day long. It was a very chill day. Too cold outside to brave the elements, we stayed in and just did a whole lot of nothing. Occasionally Mark would just look at me and smile, telling me how awesome the night was going to be. After a while I gave up on pouting and begging. He wasn’t gonna budge.

Mark convinced Adam to invite a friend to sleep over as well. He said it was necessary to keep him out of the way. By the time Mark’s mom got home, the four of us were ravenous with hunger. She ordered us some pizza delivery, and barricaded herself in her bathroom to get ready for her date.

An hour later, she was out the door while we scarfed down our dinner.

“Adam dude. Why don’t you guys go down and pick out a DVD when we’re done eating. Danny and I will be down in a little bit.”

“You want to watch movies with us?”

“Yeah dude. For sure.”

Adam was visibly excited about the invite. “You done eating?  Let’s go downstairs.”

His buddy, who didn’t quite get all the excitement, filled his mouth with one final piece, and followed Adam down the steps.

“We’ll be down in a minute.”


“Follow me,” I was instructed, as Mark made his way toward the stairs leading up. We walked past Adam’s room and into the master bedroom.

“Check this out,” Mark said, while pulling what looked like a cigar box out of her closet. He set the box down on her mattress and asked, “are you ready?”

“For what?”

“This,” he said as he flipped open the lid. He pulled out a sandwich bag with what looked like a green spice at the bottom.

“What the Hell is that?” I asked, not really sure what I was looking at.

“Dude. It’s pot. You know. Weed.”

“Your mom smokes pot?”

“Yeah dude, I guess. Well since she’s been dating this Gary guy. I think it’s his.”

“Ok, well that’s cool.”

“Let’s smoke some.”


“Hell yes, seriously.”

“How do you smoke it?”

“With this,” he said, pulling a small L shaped pipe out of the box. “You put some in here, and suck from the other side. There’s a lighter in here too.”

“You ever smoked this before?”


“Is it dangerous?  Are we gonna get super fucked up?”

“Nah dude. We won’t smoke a lot. But it’s only pot. We’ll just get high.”

“Ok dude. I just hope Adam doesn’t figure it out. We could get in a shit load of trouble if he tells your mom.”

“He won’t know and he wouldn’t say shit anyway. He’s cool.”

“Ok. Let’s get high.”


Luckily for us, loading a bowl, lighting it, and inhaling, isn’t rocket science. Mark took the ceremonial first hit and then passed me the pipe, while he flamed the bowl for me. I sucked my lungs full, and coughed until I had drool dripping off my bottom lip. It got easier as we continued on. A few minutes later we had cleared the bowl out and decided we needed to get downstairs, before Adam started to search for us. It was that moment when I stood up, that I felt the full effect. I was floating, in a very good way. I had never been high before, but it felt good.

We giggled the whole way downstairs. At what, I cannot say. It just seemed like everything was super funny. We made it to the basement and tried to act normal. This proved to be very difficult, as everything continued to be downright hilarious.

I sat at the edge of the couch and bit my lower lip. I did not want to erupt into a fit of laughter for no reason. Adam hopped up off the chair next to the couch and slammed himself down next to me. He looked at me quizzically, sniffed the air, and asked “did you guys burn something?  I smell smoke?”

My eyes popped open as wide as they could, but the ever cool Mark bailed us out.

“Danny burnt some popcorn. Dumb ass.”

“YOU distracted me dickhead.”

“Popcorn?  Where is it?” asked a very interested Adam.

“I told you. Danny burned it.  But you know, I do feel like munching on something. Chips or something. Adam. Run up and get some munchies for us.”

“Alright. But don’t start the movie, k?”

Adam and his buddy ran upstairs and Mark looked over at me with a huge grin on his face.


“Hehe. Yeah. He doesn’t have a clue. I’m so wasted right now.”

“I know dude. I’m like soooo high.”

“Shh. Shh. Here they come.”

They did return with a selection of chips and pretzels and Mountain Dew. Mark had his couch. Adam’s friend had the chair, and I had the other couch with Adam. We turned off the lights, handed around the treats, and watched “Scream 2.”  I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be a comedy, but I found it very funny.


8 responses to “gjenfødelse IX

  1. I guess I’m a little disappointed to hear of the drug experimenting, as I was with the alcohol earlier, but I guess it is a part of most young lives these days. Still it’s nothing that makes a person unlikable. I just missed out I guess when I was that age. Times are different now.

    The adventure continues… – Aof


  2. I could tell similar stories of my own youth…and I'm *much* older than Daniel…so it's not a generational thing.

    And anyway, Danny and I seemed to have turned out okay…well, at least Daniel did!




  3. Hello David
    Sorry, but it's difficult for me to comment without sounding judgmental, which, given my inclinations, would be thoroughly hypocritical. No less beautifully written than any other chapter, though.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B


  4. I would say you weren't wrong aof. Most 7th graders are not like Daniel was. Most do not drink or take drugs. Most only “talk” about sex. Most of them have something that Daniel lacks. A moral foundation.

    Although Daniel was never one to lead the way down dark places. He never said no to anything. Acceptance for an unpopular loner can be a tricky game. I suppose I could go on and on about the causes and everything, but what's the point?


  5. I’m glad to have this opportunity to know how another lived his life. I’m sure these things went on around me without me knowing. I was as naïve as anyone could be.

    As I move farther along in life and read about the lives of others, I realize more and more how little I experienced and accomplished in my own.

    Daniel was (and is) a unique collection of abilities, skills, and talents, a very special person, so different from most of his peers I think.

    I feel privileged to be getting this view into his formative experiences. – Aof


  6. Let's see…

    Underage drinking: ✔️
    Underage sex: ✔️
    And now illegal drug use: ✔️

    Yup, 13 year old Kevin woulda gotten along with 13 year old Daniel real well.





  7. I was going to comment just about what Kevin said! HAHAHAHA
    Do you see why we identify in many ways with you, and find your story so compelling? Very cool chapter.

    Peace <3


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