I wrestled with myself again. On the one hand, I did what I set out to do. I made physical contact, and I got away with it. On the other hand, I hadn’t satisfied my curiosity at all. It was nothing but a cowards touch. I had no choice but to move forward and here was my chance.
I tentatively reached across to Mark once again. Oddly, this time I was calm, and not even shaking. I gently set my hand on top of the bump in his shorts, softly feeling my way around with my fingertips. I quickly located his length and traced it with my fingers, from top to bottom. This brought the freight train back, along with all sorts of other feelings. It felt so erotic and dangerous. I thought I might pass out from the butterflies buzzing around my stomach. I gently slid my fingers underneath his length and lifted him up until I could close my thumb from the other side. He was no longer than me, but he felt a fair bit thicker. I gently squeezed a few times. I lowered my fingers enough to feel his warm grapes, swimming in their loose pouch. I glided my fingers back the other way, softly pinching the spongy tip. This experience was so intoxicating, and so revealing. I definitely was more turned on and excited with this secret, boy play than I ever was with Kayla.
Then my conscience kicked back in. My god! What am I doing? This is totally crazy, but I couldn’t let go. I didn’t want to let go. Ever. In fact, I wanted more, but these damn boxer briefs were limiting my options for exploration. I continued to play with the options I had, and he started to react. His breathing changed, and things were happening down there, too. Twitching. Thickening. Elongating. I didn’t want to push my luck, so I stopped. I covered him up to his waist with the blanket and drifted off to a blissful fantasy in my mind.
I laid awake for what felt like an hour, when Mark quickly sat up in bed. I could almost read his mind, asking himself how did he end up in his bed. A minute later, he stumbled over to the bathroom. He left the door open, so I could hear him draining his overfull bladder. Yup. My guy is classy. When he returned to bed, I pretended I was sleeping. I wasn’t feeling too chatty, and I felt a little bit guilty for what I had done to him earlier. I was also a little curious to see if he’d get up to some mischief of his own. It had been a long time, but you never know.
He came back and laid on his back. A few minutes later, he was snoring. So much for that idea. I laid on my back a little bit longer, thinking about a bunch of random stuff. As I was about to roll onto my side and try for some more sleep, Mark beat me to it, spinning toward me. His arm flung over my chest and his head rested just below my shoulder. He basically had me pinned under his sleeping grip. It seemed like such a loving gesture, if only he was awake.
He unconsciously moved around, trying to find a comfortable position, which caused his hand to rub across my naked chest and down my abdomen. It came to rest on my hipbone, across my body. It was such an affectionate maneuver, if only he was awake. To feel his warm embrace, and the soft whispers of his warm breath on my neck, was almost more than I could take. But these weren’t erotic thoughts. These were visions of love. At the end of the day, I’m a hopeless romantic. It’ll be moments like this that will warm my soul and make me feel complete, more than anything else.
The next morning I woke up to the movements of Mark’s tossing and turning, as he fought to hold onto the last moments of his slumber. He eventually gave up and came to rest beside me with a long, low groan. Curiously, he lifted the blanket at his waist, and peaked under.
“Fuck I’m horny. You ever get sexy dreams?”
Oh my god! He’s hard! And he pretty much just told me it. My perverted side tried to study the rise of the blanket, to see if I could make it out.
“Do you ever get dreams with sex in it?”
“I do, like all the time. I had one last night, for sure.”
“I need to get fucked, big time.”
I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I said nothing.
“You jack off, right?”
“Oh come on. Everybody does. How many times a day do you do it?”
“Well, not every day.”
“Really? I hardly miss a day. What’s your record for one day? Like a super horny day.”
“Three, I think.”
“Shit. That ain’t nothing. Seven. That’s my record.”
“Yeah right. I had to stop because it started to hurt. I didn’t have anything left anyway. Some days I wake up and its sex, and that’s all I’m gonna think about all day. Sex. Sex. Sex.”
“So, what’s the most you’ve done with a girl?”
“You already know. I told you.”
“Yeah but…not really.”
“Well Kayla and me were kissing and stuff, and she sucked my dick.”
“That’s so awesome. What was it like?”
“You never had one?”
“Nope. I never even got a handy yet.”
“So, what’s the most you’ve done?”
“Shit. You saw it the other night. Kissing and shit. I’ve touched a few titties. Not much. So…the blowjob?”
“Oh. Yeah. It was pretty insane. Like warm and wet and it made me shoot super fast.”
“Like a minute. I don’t know.”
“Damn. So, where’d you cum?”
“In her mouth.”
“No way! Shit son. That’s the ultimate. I got to find me a girl like that. I’m jealous bro. What happened after that?”
“Nothing. I tried to touch her, you know…but she stopped me. We just laid there and talked a little.”
We sat there quiet for a minute. It was the first really personal conversation I’ve had with Mark about sex. With anyone for that matter.
“You want to hear something fucked up?”
“Like a week ago, I caught Adam jacking off.”
“What? No way!”
“No. Seriously. I went into the bathroom by the kitchen and he was standing at the mirror with his pants at his ankles, jerking into the sink.”
“Ah ha ha ha. What’d he say.”
“Shut the fucking door!”
“Hahahaha! Sixth grade? Really? I wasn’t doing that yet. I didn’t even know about it.”
“Shit. He probably saw me doing it and copied.”
“Haha. No doubt. How’d he even find it? Hahaha!”
“No way dude! Like, he was in a mirror, you know, so I saw everything. He’s…he’s got a. He’s got nothing to worry about there.”
Mark took another glance under the blanket, and announced, “I’m gonna go take a shower.”
He stood up and kind of shielded his front side from me, as he made a break toward the door. I couldn’t resist saying, “fap fap fap.”
“Shut it,” was the last thing he managed, before disappearing out the door.
Great, so now I lay here alone, more than a little hot and bothered. In the room right next to me, the boy who I’m most physically attracted to in the world, is jacking off. Upstairs, is the sweetest, cutest boy I know, possibly doing the same thing. I won’t be able to look at Adam the same way ever again. Not so innocent after all. God! If only he was a few years older.
I tried to picture myself going out with either Mark or Adam. Adam matches me on so many levels. He’s cuddly, and sensitive, and caring. He’s kind of a quiet, thinking type. We both share a passion for music, and we just talk so easily. I can reveal a little more of my true self with Adam, than I dare with Mark. I had never thought of Adam in that way before, until just now. Oh well, eleven year olds don’t go out with thirteen year olds…but, fourteen year olds do go out with sixteen year olds. You never know, maybe we’ll still know each other when we’re both older.