Savior 13

“You let him go?”

“What else could I do?”

“We have to go get him,!” yelled the teary-eyes blond boy, as he leapt up from the couch.

Jasmine reached out, stopping him dead in his tracks.

“Then what? What are you going to do Timmy? If he doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t have to stay.”

“Yeah but…I can explain it to him. Then he’d want to stay,” Timmy pleaded, on the edge of another emotional breakdown.

Jasmine wrapped her arms around her fragile little brother. Like so many times before, she’d surround him with love while he cried out his lonely, little heart. All they really had in this world was each other.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out honey,” she whispered into his delicate ear.

“I really liked him so much Jazzy. I don’t want to be alone forever.”

“I know. I know. Be patient.”

“I really thought he was different. I thought he was the one. Why can’t I just be normal? This life sucks.”

Those words stung so deeply with Jasmine. She felt tears welling up in her own eye ducts. It was, after all, her ex boyfriend who brought Timmy into this world of darkness. As a way to get back at Jasmine for leaving him, Skyler kidnapped Timmy. Stripped him from life as he knew it and turned him into the creature of darkness that he will forever be. Timmy didn’t make this choice. He wasn’t given one.

Skyler has such a wicked side. One of pure, sadistic evil. If Jasmine tries to take revenge on him, or manages to kill him. He has like-minded vampire friends who would slowly kill her parents, and do much worse to her youngest sister. A girl of only nine, who’s life would be destroyed a hundred times over, until she was forced to relive her past life for all eternity, much like how her older brother has. As overwhelming as the urge was to end Skyler’s life, the trade-off was to high for Jasmine. She’s spent countless hours, plotting and planning. Looking for a way to exact her revenge. One day she will have her justice.

“Timmy. It’ll get better, ok? Don’t give up hope. You’re still very young and there is a lot to learn. Maybe we should get away from here. Leave Chicago. We can go anywhere in the world. Anywhere you want to go.”

Timmy didn’t put much thought into what his sister just offered. His mind was still occupied with other things. He couldn’t get the image of Tyler out of his mind. He was everything he ever wanted, but it seemed now, his dream will never be fulfilled. He kept telling himself, if you want it that bad, sometimes you have to fight for it. Somehow, he would give it one more chance. One more try before he calls it a total loss.

In a quiet, defeated voice, Timmy said, “I’m going to my room,” and with slouched shoulders, he shuffled his way down the hall.

Tyler had one of those dead to the world sleeps where you don’t wake up once during the night. Hell, he didn’t even move. It wasn’t until his mother rousted him for school, that he finally rejoined the awakened world.

“Come on sweetie. Time for school.”



“Do you think I could get just one more day? One day off of school and go back tomorrow?”

“Hmmm…well, I suppose. But that doesn’t mean you get to go traipsing around town. I want you here.”

“I know. I won’t go anywhere.”

“Well, your father has already left for work. Why don’t you come down and join me for some breakfast. I’ll make blueberry waffles. Maybe I can get you to help me with some laundry and cleaning too.”

“Ugh. Maybe I should just go to school.”

“Very funny. Up. Up. Get up,” she responded, while bouncing the foot of my bed playfully.

I stood up and reached for the ceiling in an exaggerated stretch.

“Where in the world did you get those,?” my mom said while gazing down at my boxers, more amused than angry. I had forgotten that I was wearing the pair I had borrowed from Timmy. They were way to small for me, and more than a bit revealing. Mix that with the remnants of my traditional wake up call that all boys can relate to, and umm yeah, embarrassing. I quickly made to cover myself, to hold onto any shred of dignity I might have left.

“Oh please,” my mom snickered, as she made for the door. “I don’t even want to know where you got those tiny little shorts.”

I was thankful that she spared me having to explain why I was wearing them. I was also reminded of where I had gotten them. Maybe I overreacted when I stormed out of there last night. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but it wasn’t without regret. I was already missing Timmy more than I would have imagined. I was really starting to enjoy my time with him. As weird as it probably sounds to other people, I was going to leave his underwear on. It was my last and only connection to him. It made me feel good.

I went to the bathroom to take a piss. I stopped in front of the mirror on my way out and caught a glimpse of what my mom had seen. I stopped and stared at myself, fighting to suppress my laughter. I looked ridiculous. I was pretty average, based on my secret exploration in the locker room, but these poor underwear were working overtime to try and contain me. They gave the illusion that I was very well equipped, the way they drew everything in together and bulged out. The top was pulled so low that my modest dusting of hair was even visible. Without correct placement, I could easily spill out these, above or below. I wonder if that was what Timmy wanted? I wonder if I turned him on the same way he turned me on? I made my way back to my room. Threw on a shirt and sweats, and joined my mom in the kitchen for homemade waffles. I needed a distraction from the road my head was traveling down. I definitely had stronger feelings for Timmy than I might be willing to admit. Only now, after accepting it, I have to deal with the fact that I ruined any chance I had with him.

I spent the bulk of the day just hanging out with my mom. My instincts told me to run to my room and hang out there drawing and being lazy, but the magnetic medicine of my mom kept me near her. I did help her with chores, and we’d take breaks, watching TV and just talking. It’s funny how without even doing anything in particular, my mom helps me. She eases my mind and calms me down. I was sad when she eventually had to go to work. I really don’t get to see my mom enough. With her gone, I retired to my room. In less than an hour my dad would be home. If I was quiet enough, he wouldn’t even know I was there.

I spent the rest of the night confined to my room. There was something about the way my dad looked at me last night that told me to stay clear of him. Finally, at about nine o’clock, I couldn’t hold my bladder any longer. I had to risk him hearing me and knowing I was home, to avoid wetting myself. It was unlikely he’d come upstairs anyway. I was startled when I saw his irritated face standing in the other side of the door when I stepped out. He blocked me in the doorway, staring at me with his distant, glossy eyes.

He hissed, “when did you get here?”

“I…umm, I’ve been here all day. I didn’t…didn’t go to school.”

He smirked at me, enjoying my discomfort. “Is that right?”


“Let me see your hands.”

I held them out to him and he roughly grabbed them and twisted them, peering at my fingers. “You didn’t even hit back, did you?”

“N…no sir.”

He turned and walked back toward the stairs to be with his true love. Beer. As he hit the first step, he looked over at me with a disgusted smile. His parting word, “figures,” spat out like a bitter poison.

I quietly shuffled back to the safety of my small room, grateful that he only chose to insult me verbally. He’s such an asshole. I just laid on my bed listening to very quiet music, waiting for my body and mind to shut down, so I could drift off to dreamland.

Also sitting in the solitude of his bedroom was Timmy. He hadn’t come out of his room since he shut himself in the night before. His sister had been up for hours, but he wasn’t in the mood for company. She knocked on his door, expressing concern for his isolation.

“Timmy? Are you ok? I have to go to work, but we really need to talk when I get home. I wish you’d just come out so I know you’re okay.”

Timmy unlocked his door and opened it a few inches, so Jasmine could see that he was fine. She pushed the door open a little bit further and kissed him on the forehead. “You know I love you, right?”


“Ok. I’ll see you when I get home.”


He shut his door again and waited until he heard Jasmine leave the apartment. He was tired of the confined space of his room, so he ventured out into the apartment. He heard some laughing and commotion from near the front door, so he quietly padded that direction. One of the few sources of entertainment around here was looking through the peephole, to spy on his neighbors. When he got to the front door, he saw a backpack leaned up against the wall. He unzipped it and saw it was Tyler’s.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. He decided he needed to bring Tyler back his bag. Tonight.


Savior 12

“Some of this I’m sure you already know, or figured out on your own. So just…bear with me. Timmy is my little brother. We are…well, you know. Maybe you didn’t know that about me before, but now you do.”

“Yeah. I…didn’t know that until, well I kind of figured it out like last night.”

“Okay. So…I know what you saw that night. I know why you came into my coffee shop looking white as a ghost. They were sloppy and stupid,” she said, flashing Timmy a filthy look.

“I saw your drawings. I could almost read your thoughts, but I couldn’t figure out why you were on this mission. I mean, you saw something that isn’t meant to be seen. Ever. It’s just legend and folklore, but it IS real, and you knew it. But it seemed like something more was motivating you. I tried to get you to open up to me, but you were so guarded. Then, when things became more intense, I needed to make you go away, for your own good. It worked for a while, but now that your back, I might as well tell you what you need to hear.  It might save your life.”

“Wait!  Go away?  Why?”  This whole speech from Jasmine sounded so prepared and polished. I was getting frustrated at how this all felt. I was expecting a little more participation on my part. Not just some fucking memorized dialogue.

Jasmine became visibly agitated by my question. I had stumbled onto something big and thrown her off course. She looked into her lap, collecting her thoughts, not wanting to meet my expecting eyes. “Hmmm…the moment you saw what you saw, your life was immediately in danger. You weren’t supposed to…”

I waited for her to continue after her long pause. I just stared at her, looking at her own hands. Over my shoulder, I could see Timmy behaving the same way. I started to panic. I got a really eerie feeling, like I knew what she was trying to say. I felt my eyes well up and I was growing more anxious. “What?  I wasn’t supposed to what?”

Jasmine picked up her face and drew in a breath. Right as she was about to speak, Timmy broke his silence. For the first time since I’d met him, he sounded sad and small to me, helpless.  He pleaded “Jazzy please…stop. You don’t have to.”

“Timmy. We talked about this.  He needs to know.”

Timmy buried his face into his hands, like he was trying to disappear. I continued to sob, fearing the worst. I should have never come here the other night.

Finally Jasmine found the courage to tell me. She met my eyes and said, “Tyler, you weren’t supposed to make it home that night.”

“Wait!  Timmy followe…oh my God.”  The realization stopped me dead in my tracks. I was hyperventilating, and I needed to get air.  I stood up and stumbled my way out of the room. I looked at Timmy, who still had his face hidden in the cradle of his hands. I didn’t say anything more. I just needed to get the fuck out of there. I wasn’t really sure what to do, but I had to do something. I found myself standing in the kitchen, when I spotted my boots and coat near the front door. I quickly went to them and started to jam my feet into my boots, which only proves to take longer and is much more frustrating than just sitting down and doing it the right way.

Jasmine appeared in the doorway behind me. “Where are you going Tyler?”

“Huh?  I don’t know…out.”

“Look. There’s so much more to tell you. You can’t leave. Please.”

“I think I’ve heard enough. You people are fucking crazy. I’m outta here.”

“That’s not fair!  You have to let me explain.  Timmy’s very upset. Please stay.”

I wordlessly grabbed my coat and started to unlatch the various locks on the door. I half expected to be jumped or attacked, or worse, but she didn’t do or say anything. I crossed the threshold and quietly shut the door behind me. After three steps, I sprinted as fast as my body would allow, to the far end of the hall, and into the stairwell. I leaped down the three flights in seconds, and exploded out the door into the freedom of the winter night sky. I ran for what felt like miles, until I was confident they hadn’t followed me.

I spotted a tired out, snow covered playground and dusted off a swing. I needed to rest. To sit. I spun randomly, with my toes rolling in the snow on the ground below. If I thought I was confused before, it was way worse now. They didn’t seem like they wanted to hurt me. They brought me back to health. But what if it was a trick?  It’d be a lot easier to gain the trust from somebody and kill them in the convenience of your own home, than have to do it in some cold, dirty alley. My head spun in so many directions, with one question opening up five more. I wasn’t getting anywhere.

I was starting to feel cold. I didn’t have my hat or gloves. Only a flimsy hood to cover my head. My legs were going numb too, with only Jasmine’s thin pants covering them. I had no money, and no food. There was really only one option left for me. I had to go home and face the music.

If my calculations were right, it was Sunday night, which meant both of my parents would be home. They’d be planted in front of the TV, my mom with her magazine, and my dad with his beer, cigarettes, and bad attitude. I approached cautiously to the side of the house and peered through the thin, lace curtains, to confirm what I already knew. I leaned up against the side of the house to think, but no scenario or excuse I thought of, ended well for me. I was in big time trouble, and my only saving grace was my mom being home. She’d keep my dad under control, to a certain degree.

I made the dreaded walk to the front door, trembling. I reached into my pocket for my k…shit!  I don’t have my key. I would have to knock, to be allowed in. Not a good start. After about a minute, I got up the courage to knock, so I gently tapped, almost hoping they wouldn’t hear it. I saw a shadow sweep through the room. Please be mom. Please be mom. Please be mom. The door swung open and it was mom.

She looked awful. Rundown and sleepless. Sick with worry.  No doubt for me. I felt terrible for what I had put her through. All I had to do was call and let her know I was ok. Instead, I selfishly did nothing. I had a hard time lifting my head to meet her eyes. I mumbled, “I’m sorry mom,” in a voice only she’d be able to pick up.

She placed her hands on the sides of my face and gently lifted my chin off of my chest. In a voice so thick with concern, she asked “dear god Tyler. What happened to you?”

“’s nothing.”

She traced her fingers across my gross lips and scratchy cheeks. Examining, in disbelief that someone could do such a thing to her baby. For my part, I stood there, not sure what else I could do. I was slapped back to reality by the nearby drunken bark of my father.

“Shut the damn door. You’re letting all the cold in. Who is it?  Go away.”

Sensing my inherent resistance, my mom cradled my shoulder from behind and steered me into the warmth of the house. Words were not spoken, as she guided me up the stairs to the implied safety of my bedroom.  As we passed through the living room, I shifted my head ever so slightly, toward my dad’s chair. He wore a smirk that said ‘I told you so.’  As if he could have predicted a life full of bashings and put downs for me. This didn’t seem to bother him at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

Once in my bedroom, my mothers maternal instincts kicked in, as she started to strip me of my coat and tried to move on to points beyond.

“Mom. I can do this myself,” I protested with a little too much animosity.

“I’m just trying to help,”‘she said in desperation, bordering on tears. “Who did this to you?  Where have you been?  You’ve had me so worried.”

“I’m sorry mom. I…I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have called.”

“Damn right you should have called.”

I sat in silence, tugging at a thread in my comforter. Hiding my face in shame. I could feel my mom standing over me, not sure what she should do or say. This was the first time her only child came home beat up, not to mention being gone with no explanation, for days on end. She reached in with her hand and ran her fingers through my tired hair.

“I don’t suppose you want to talk about it, hmm?”

“No mom.”

“Okay. I’m not gonna push you. Why don’t you take a hot shower. You look frozen to the bone, and I’ll bring you up something to eat. Ok?”

I glanced up into her warm, caring face. “Thanks mom.”

She planted a kiss on the top of my head. “Anything for my sweetheart. I’m just so happy to have you back home and safe.”

She made for the door and I started to tug my socks off. That hot shower she suggested, sounded like exactly what I needed. She stopped at my door and said, “oh, and Jesse dropped by to see you a few times this weekend.”


“Yeah. He said he was a friend of yours from school.”

“Oh. Ok.”

She left me to contemplate who in the Hell Jesse was. The pull of the shower was too strong, so I shook it from my mind and headed for the bathroom.  The shower did its usual cleansing, above and beyond cleansing in the literal sense. I felt one hundred times better, afterwards.

I put on the most comfortable clothes from my closet and sat at my computer desk, awaiting my mothers return. I decided while in the shower, that I would give her some insight into what happened to me.  She came up a little while later with a tray containing a cross-cut grilled cheese, some tater-tots with a dollop of ketchup, a bundle of green grapes,  homemade chocolate chip cookie, and a tall glass of skim milk.

“Wow mom!  This looks great.”

“Oh. It was nothing. Ok. I’ll leave you to it.”

I managed to catch her before she was gone. “Wait. Mom!”

She turned back. “Yes, honey?”

“Umm…I just…this happened at school. There’s…there’s this total asshole..”


“Sorry…jerk bully. He picks on everyone, like all the time and…well it was my turn this week, so that’s what happened.”

“Did you report this?  To the office.”

“No. No. See that’s the thing…if I did, he’d just come after me again. So that’s kind of why I didn’t come home. I didn’t want you to freak out and tell my school. It’ll…it’ll be ok. Trust me. Please just leave it alone.”

“Do you really think that’s the best thing to do?  What if he continues to pick on you. Maybe if he’s punished, he’ll learn his lesson.”

“Mom. You don’t understand. He really doesn’t give a…doesn’t care. He’d laugh at being suspended.”

“Maybe he needs to be removed from school.”

“I wish.”

“Well, in order to do that, you kids who he’s picking on need to tell someone.”

“Look. I’ll handle it, ok?  Just trust me on this. Please?”

“I will this time, but if you come home with one more black eye, I’m going right to the principal.”

“Ok. Thanks mom.”

She left without another word, giving me a chance to eat my food while it was still warm. It felt good to tell her what happened, but I wasn’t about to tell her I spent the weekend with a vampire brother and sister, and that I had borderline gay playtime with the boy. Some things moms just don’t need to know.

I ate about half of the food and was feeling pretty comfortable. Next, I did something I hadn’t done since I was probably seven. I went to bed at eight o’clock. I was so happy to be back in my bed, with my blankets, and my pillow, that I fell asleep almost immediately. The last thought I had before I slipped away was, wondering how hard it would be to convince my mom I wasn’t ready to go back to school yet. When I talk to her about it in the morning, I hope she’ll understand.

A Dream of Mine

Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if I could convince every single person on the planet to sing and dance with me at the same time.  It could be so beautiful, I think.

Hmmm….I would choose this song…will you sing and dance with me?

Working Man

A friend in needs a friend indeed.

A friend with weed is better.

– Brian Molko

I spent all weekend helping a friend, or rather his dad.  A gave him about 20 hours of hard labor and no, I was not rewarded with weed.  I donned the tool-belt and assless chaps, and we built us a laminate floor (500 square feet) in his comfortable suburban estate.  When a man takes you to Australlia and pays most of your expenses, you help him at the drop of a hat.  I am wicked sore and beyond exhaustion, but it was worth it to see the finished product.  Dominic, his dad, and I did a fine job of DIY home improvement.


I do have another chapter of Savior nearly ready to post.  I think that one is winding down…

Chau for now

Second Chance

I received an email earlier today from Kevin, informing me that Tristan (Rent Boy) was back in action. He’s slowly rolling out his re-edited original story, and continuing where he left off. This is news I have been waiting to hear for years.

Some of you, maybe all, know my story begins with Tristan’s story. I wouldn’t be here now, and met all you lovely people, if it weren’t for his story. Ironically he has the same number of chapters posted, as when I found it originally at 13. I read all of it this evening, and although I’m seeing it through different eyes now, I still absolutely love it. I’m very excited to keep reading. 
Also, maybe even more ironic, last weekend a ridiculously gorgeous boy came into our shop in need of some supplies. He passed up a chance to be guided around by the skinny, big titted girl I was working with, to have me help him. Short.  Kind of cut, but still skinnyish.  Perfect ass in the worlds tightest jeans.  Big blue eyes. Shaggy, dirty-blond hair. Pink, windburned cheeks. I could go on and on. He was as close to perfection as I’ve seen. To top it off, he was really nice. We got so sidetracked, talking about everything and anything, that it took him nearly an hour to get what he needed for his SCSU freshman class. Yes, he goes to college, hours and hours away. I don’t know what he’s into, but I did catch him looking at my private area. I wish I would have taken a risk, and asked for his number. You never know, if you don’t try. As it stands, all I know is his name is Trisran, and I could have fallen in love.

So, short story made long…his name got me thinking about Rent Boy again….

Here’s the link. Do yourself a favor and check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

Savior 11

This time I was a little less confused when I woke up in Jasmine’s bed. I didn’t have that initial shock. Things looked and felt familiar, right down to my pounding headache. I made to sit up a little bit, as my back was aching. That’s when I heard the creak from over in a dark corner of the room. Seconds later, the angelic vampire boy glided into the dim light cast by the desk lamp.

“You’re awake. How do you feel?  You had me worried,” he fired off in rapid, excited succession.

“Oh. Hey. I’ve…I’ve had better days. What happened?”

“You passed out. Luckily I caught you before you hit the floor.”

“Passed out?  God, I’m such a mess.”

“How’s your head?”

“It hurts super bad.”

“I think you have a concussion. I had one once from hockey, and…”

His abrupt stop caught me off guard. I looked up at him expectantly.

“Sorry…I…I try not to think about my former life too much. It…it depresses me.”

“Oh. I see.”

We fell into a silence. I had a million questions, but I couldn’t form any in my brain. This was just too unreal.

“Can I…can I get you anything Tyler?”

“You know my name?”

“Well…er yeah. Jazzy told me it.”

“H…how do you know Jasmine?”

“She’s my sister,” he responded, like it was no big deal.

“Wait!  Your sister?”

“Yeah. Look. I know you have a lot of questions, but why don’t we like sit with Jazzy and get it all figured out or something. I don’t think you need to like, overwork your brain or anything. You need rest and stuff.”

“Can I ask one question?”

“Yeah. Sure. Maybe.”

“What’s your name?”

He smiled broadly. I’m sure in relief that I didn’t ask something super complicated. He extended his hand toward the bed and I fished mine out from under the blanket. He gripped my hand softly, and said, “I’m Timmy.”

I held his hand, not wanting to let it go. I managed a weak smile and replied, “it’s nice to finally know your name. I feel like I’ve known you a long time.”

He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get his hand back either. We smiled into each other’s eyes for a bit longer than normal. I think we were both happy to finally meet one another. His smile was eventually replaced by the more serious face he wore earlier. He hesitantly asked, “Tyler. Can I ask you a question?”


“Did this…did it happen…at home?”

“No. It was…it was at school. I ran my mouth off at some bully.”

In a totally serious voice, he asked, “what’s his name?  I’ll kill him.”

“Whoa. Calm down. I’ll be alright. It’s no big deal.”

“Looks like a big deal to me. If you change your mind. I’ll do it. In a heartbeat.”

I didn’t quite know how to react to his comment, so I didn’t say anything. To try and break the tension, I told him, “I think I need to pee.”

Timmy jumped at the opportunity to help me out. “Here. Let me help you up. I can walk you there too. I mean if you need it.”

He offered his hands to me and helped me to my feet. I was a bit wobbly and unsteady on my feet, so he put my arm over his shoulder and he gripped my waist as we slowly walked to the bathroom.

“I’ll stand behind you and hold your waist so you don’t tip over or something.”

I was in no position to protest, as he was probably right. I pulled up to the toilet and pulled the front of my long underwear down to start peeing. I glanced into the mirror to my right, and saw Timmy’s eyes glancing right at my exposed penis, in the reflection of the mirror. When he saw that I saw him, he quickly looked away, only to bring them back to where they were trained before. I smiled because I would have done the exact same thing.  I’m sure if I was in my right mind, I would have tried to hide myself, but I actually kind of liked the fact that he wanted to see it. He was certainly giving my mind a workout, this Timmy.

He giggled, which gave me a sudden complex. I did then try to kind of shield my dick, thinking he was laughing at it or something.

He saw my awkward maneuver and said, “no no. Sorry. I can feel your pee leaving your bladder or something. It feels weird.  Your dick is nice…er…um…sorry.”

I shook off and put myself away and said, “oh ok. I’m done, and umm…thanks?”

He walked us to the sink and I washed my hands. Our eyes met in the mirror and we both smiled. He changed his grip on me a little bit, wrapping a little closer around the front of my waist. I don’t know if it was intensional or not, but I liked the way it made me feel. As shitty as I looked and felt, it didn’t seem to be as bad now that I was finally getting to know Timmy.

As we stood there I had an almost overwhelming feeling of sorrow sweep through me. I can’t even say where it came from, but I sensed that waterworks were on the way. I’ve been such a roller coaster of emotions lately, that rapid mood swings have become normal. My eyes were just starting to mist up.

“Timmy. You’ve been such a big help to me. Both you and your sister. Can I ask one more thing?  You’re gonna think I’m crazy, I think, but can I…can I give you a hug?”

Without even speaking, Timmy spun me around and wrapped himself around me. He melted into me like an attachment. I’ve had enough hugs in my life to be able to rate them. This hug from Timmy was among the most heartfelt I’ve ever received. I hugged him back with everything I had. I was touched so deeply that I started to weep, and eventually broke into a full blown cry. Timmy tenderly rubbed my back, offering himself as the support I needed.

“You’ve been through a lot. I’m here for whatever you need.”

I cried a bit longer, but was too exhausted to do much more. I separated from our embrace and sat on the closed toilet lid. I lifted my head and looked into Timmy’s face. I think he was surprised to see me smiling.

“It’s not that. I’m ok, really. I’m…I’m better than ok. I can’t explain it, but you have no idea how happy I am to find you. It’s, I can’t put it into words, but I had to find you. Like my life depended on it or something. Somehow I need you. Like fate. I know you think I’m crazy…”

“Tyler. I know. I feel it too. I have since the first time I saw you.”

The floodgates opened up again. “You have no idea how hard I looked for you.”

“I do know.”

“Then why?  Why didn’t you let me find you?”

“Because you’re not safe.”

“Not safe?”

“Yes. Look. Jazzy can explain it better than me. We should get you back in bed. We can talk about it later.”

I reluctantly agreed, and he helped me back into Jasmine’s bedroom. He helped me back into the bed and sat on the edge.

“Will you lay with me,?” I asked.

“I’d love to,” he replied, smiling widely.

He climbed into the bed beside me propped up on his elbow, looking down into my face. He moved a few strands of hair out if my eyes and delicately kissed my forehead. “Get some sleep Tyler. I’ll be right here.”

I was pretty overcome with fatigue from my little adventure to the bathroom, and my emotional breakdown. I couldn’t muster enough strength to produce any words. The last thing I remembered was his soft lips touching my forehead again, as I drifted off. No dream that might visit my thoughts tonight could be better than the one I just left.

This time waking up I felt a bit better. My head wasn’t throbbing and my most pressing need seemed to be another trip to the bathroom. Timmy was nowhere to be found, so I made the journey on shaky knees, on my own. I found myself giggling at the memory of my last visit to the toilet, and Timmy’s free peep show.  I splashed some water on my face and became aware of how dry my throat was, and how empty my stomach felt.

I quietly moved toward the kitchen and located a drinking glass and found some OJ in the fridge. I spotted another note from Jasmine sitting on the counter:


I hope you’re starting to feel better. Make yourself at home. Eat. Sleep. Whatever you need. Timmy and I are sleeping in his room. Please do not come in there!  I hope to see you when we wake up. Don’t leave unless you absolutely have to. We need to talk.


I had no real reason to leave, and I was more than a little curious what we needed to talk about. I was ravenous with hunger, so I started to eat some of the food she picked up for me.  Three bowls of Froot Loops, a carton of OJ, two pieces of toast, a granola bar, and a bag of Cheetos later, and I was done. I even eyeballed the tub of ice cream in the freezer, but decided to save it for later. What I had just eaten was comparable to a normal three day intake for me. It was strange how hungry I was. I didn’t even feel over-stuffed when I was finished. I spotted a clock on a desk that indicated it was 4:00. Wow!  I slept for a long time. That might explain why I was so hungry.

I decided to relax in the den while I waited for Jasmine and Timmy to come out of his room. I laid on the couch, just staring and the ceiling. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a book, abandoned rudely on the rug. I grabbed it and started paging though it. It was some very dark looking manga called ‘Dragon Head.’  This must be what Timmy was reading when I surprised him last night. I also found his iPod and headphones half under the couch. I placed the headphones over my ears and hit play.  He had been listening to some spooky sounding classical music by someone named Rachmaninov. I didn’t think it was my place to blast through his playlist, but I was starting to sense that Timmy wasn’t your typical teenager. Not that I was exactly normal, but I also wasn’t a vampire.

After laying there for what felt like a couple hours, I decided to impose even further, and hop in the shower. I had forgotten how good a hot shower can feel. I stood in there double-time, letting the hot jets massage my aching body. When I was finished, I realized I didn’t want to put the same dirty clothes on, but I didn’t have anything to change into. I wrapped myself in a towel and went back into Jasmine’s bedroom. Maybe I could find a pair of sweatpants to borrow or something. She’s not that much bigger than me, and I think she’d understand. I did find some thin cotton kind of pants that could pass as sweats or something. They were a little big in the waist, but if I don’t go for a jog, which I shouldn’t have to worry about, they should stay up. Albeit, a little bit low slung. I was just stuffing my dirty clothes into my backpack, when I heard a gentle knock on the open door. I turned and saw Jasmine standing there with a warm smile.

“Evening Tyler. How you feeling?”

“Much better. Thanks. Still sore, but yeah…”

She was about to say something else, when Timmy came crashing past her into the room.

“Tyler! You stayed!”  He came charging in, wrapped his arms around me, and picked me up for a half spin. For being smaller than me, he was very strong. Maybe it’s a vampire thing.

“Timmy!  Don’t crush the poor boy,” Jasmine shouted, both shocked and laughing.

Timmy quickly set me down and whispered, “sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s okay. Hi Timmy. Of course I stayed. You told me to.”

“I’ll leave you two. See you in a little bit, okay?”

“Umm…yeah. For sure.”

I turned back around to finish zipping up my bag, when Timmy joked, “love the pants. I can see your butt.”

I reached back, and sure enough, they had slid a little ways down my body. “Err…sorry.”

“It’s okay. I like it. Hehe. Do you want to borrow some underwear?  I can get you a pair.”

“Yeah. That’d be cool. Thanks.”

Timmy ran to his room and returned with a pair of red boxer briefs. He threw them to me and made no move to leave or give me any kind of privacy. I turned away from him shyly, and slid Jasmine’s pants off and redressed myself, adding the undies to the mix.


“No problem.”

“What now?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“So you need to eat or anything?”

“Umm…we don’t eat. Well not like you do.”

“Oh. Yeah. Duh. Umm do you want to hang out or should we go see Jasmine now?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I guess we could go see Jasmine and then hang out after?”

“Yeah. For sure. Come on.”

Timmy put his hand out to me and I grabbed it. We walked the network of hallways hand in hand, with him leading the way. It felt nice to hold his hand. I was really starting to like Timmy, a lot. When we got to where Jasmine was, I was feeling a bit nervous. What was it that they needed to tell me so badly?  I went to sit at one of the couches and Timmy sat right beside me. Close enough to touch me. Jasmine sat right across from us. She smiled and said, “let’s see. Where do we begin?”


If you’ve ever had the displeasure of staying in a hotel at the same time as a youth hockey team, I’d like to apologize in advance. I’ve been a part of said hockey teams on more than one occasion. We are nothing short of your worst nightmare. There have been hotels that have written rules specifically for hockey teams. We break them every time. There’s just something about packing up and heading out of town that brings out your obnoxious and rebellious side. Mix that times fifteen, and see what happens.

You’ll know if you’ve encountered us; if there is an arcade, you won’t get near a game. If there’s a pool, just walk away. It’s total anarchy. There will be random hallways where knee hockey is being played and you won’t be granted passage. If there’s free breakfast. Go very early or you’ll be eating crumbs. If there is a complimentary computer in the lobby, we are the kids standing in a half circle around it, giggling at porn. You get the idea…

It was two weeks into the new year, and I was en route to St. Cloud for our out of town hockey tournament. I was sitting in the back of an SUV next to Adam, whom I hadn’t seen since New Year’s Eve. We exchanged email addresses, so I’d been communicating with him almost daily. Since that night we spent together, I’ve been aching to be with him. I think about him all the time. I think I’m falling in love.

Sitting in front was Mark, next to his mom, who was obviously driving. Mark and I have been on shaky ground following the events of that night. I’ve put a wall up and he doesn’t seem too interested in trying to break it down. Guilt can do that. In the end, I was hurt by what he and Kayla did. It was pretty rude how they ignored me in my own house. They both tried to blame the alcohol, which might have been a factor, but I told them to leave it alone.  What’s done is done. They don’t even know that I saw them in my bed, and that I know they probably fucked. It bothers me that Mark knew I had a thing with Kayla, and on her last night in town, he hopped in bed with her. Not cool dude. Not cool at all. So yeah, I was cold toward him, but I still sat with him at lunch and talked to him at hockey. It was just on a more surface level than before. I missed the closeness I used to have with him, but I’m just not ready to trust him to that level right now. He hasn’t shown me any reason to think otherwise.

Kayla, on the other hand, what’s the point?  She’s gone and I’ll probably never talk to her again. We had a final farewell together, after Mark and Adam went home. She brought over my painting and I parted with my beanie, which was difficult. She knew the significance of that hat, and I let her keep it. I could tell she was deeply moved by that. I wanted her to have good memories of me if she ever looked back. She did bring the hat to her nose and inhaled.

“It smells just like you. I hope it always keeps this smell.”

We cried a little and hugged a lot. I will miss her. She helped me with so much and taught me a lot.

We arrived in St. Cloud after a couple hours on the road and the party was already raging. We got to our room and Mark was anxious to join the team, that was getting ready to hit the pool. We took turns in the bathroom, getting our swim trunks on, and the three of us raced down to the pool.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two versions of Mark. There’s the sincere and quiet Mark that makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world that matters. And there is the ‘all eyes on me’ Mark, that can take control of a room with his wit and charm. For today at least, he was version two. It suited him because the whole team adored him. He’s a natural leader, and pretty funny besides. I watched as the entire team drifted toward him when he jumped in the pool. I stayed back with Adam, clinging to a wall in the deep end.

“It’s nice to finally see you again Adam. I missed you.”

“Yeah. Why haven’t you stayed over?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you and Mark fighting?”

“No. We just haven’t hung out much.”

“Well that sucks.”

“You suck,!” I replied, splashing him full in the face. This caused a playful fight to break out with a lot of splashing, and grabbing, and dunking. A minute later, Adam’s mom walked in to tell us she was going to a restaurant with some of the other parents, and she’d be back later. I could see the gears turning in Adam’s brain as she walked away.

“Do you want to get out of here?  I don’t really like swimming much.”

“Sure,” I said. “I’m not much of a swimmer either.”

We made a swift, undetected exit, as the entire pool area was in total, full volume chaos. We headed back to the room, that we suddenly had to ourselves. I walked to the corner where I had put my bag and dug out some clean clothes. I faced the wall and changed into some shorts. When I turned back, I saw Adam staring at me smiling. He’d already changed.

“Watch some TV?”

“Sure,” I said.

We hopped onto one of the queen beds and propped some pillows up against the wall behind us. Adam clicked around with the remote until he found ‘The Simpson’s’ which we agreed would be fine.

“How long do you think until Mark gets back?”

“I don’t know. Probably not for a while,” I responded.

“Do you think it’d be ok if we…you know…kissed?”

“You want to, too?  We’d probably hear the door thing, and he won’t be back in like ten minutes or anything.”

Right as I finished speaking, Adam leaned in front of me and kissed me square on the lips. He pulled back with a mischievous smile and I reached out with both arms to draw him back in. We skipped all the soft angel kisses and went right into the deep, passionate ones. I slid down until I was flat on my back, and Adam climbed right on top of me. I loved the feeling of having his weight on me, as I rubbed his flawless, smooth back with both of my hands. We kissed like this for I don’t know how long, but the fire was burning hot. In the heat of the passion, I lowered my hands onto his butt. Rubbing his small globes through his silky shorts. He whimpered and ground his pelvis into me hard, while rolling his butt inside of my busy hands. It felt like we hit the next level, allowing me to explore his body, and him being accepting of it. I had just reached the high point in my young sexual life to this point. With his firm butt in my hands, bouncing on my middle, and his obvious excitement pressing on my stomach, I was getting those distinct tingles in my center.

We kissed and groped for a while longer, when the fear of making a mess of myself or getting caught gripped me. I reluctantly broke off our kiss and told him we should stop before it’s too late. He pouted, but agreed, so he climbed off and laid beside me.

“I wish you and me got this bed together, and not you and Mark.”

“Me too. Maybe we’ll get some more alone time this weekend, somehow.”

“We will. I’ll make sure of it. Gotta take a piss.”

Adam jumped off the bed, but not before I got a swat to his ass.

“Eek!” he shrieked, as he skipped to the bathroom, rubbing his cheek. I loved the fact that I could now playfully slap him, and it wouldn’t be weird.  He returned and we resumed our original set up of watching TV. Only this time, we held hands.

Adam’s mom was the first to return. She came in, looked at us and smiled. “You know, I always thought you two were the better pair. A perfect match. Mark can be so…obnoxious sometimes. You two are my mellow fellows. It’s so nice to see you spending time together.”

Adam flashed his mom a filthy grin. I could tell he knew his mom the same as how I knew mine.

She pressed on, increasing the embarrassment level with every word spoken.

“You know how fond of you he is, Daniel.”

“Ok mom.”

“There are days when you’re all he talks about…”


“He even gets onto Mark about inviting you over…”


“Hell. I even like when you come over. It gives my little snuggle-bunny somebody else to cling to…”


“Oh honey. Lighten up. Maybe you two would like to share a bed?  Otherwise I know I’m not going to get any sleep this weekend with you hanging onto me.”

She had no idea how right she was. I couldn’t contain the laughter that escaped my clenched mouth. Adam joined in, but she was none the wiser. Eventually she drifted off to the bathroom to do who knows what.

I couldn’t help myself from taking a little cheap shot at Adam. “Do you want to sleep with me snuggle-bunny?”

He hung out his lower lip, which was too cute, and said “yes, but you don’t have to be mean about it.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be mean. My mom is the same way. I won’t call you that again.”

He smiled and put a quick kiss on my cheek.

“Anyway, I want to sleep with you too. I wish I could all weekend.”

That night we had a team meal in the conference room at the hotel. Spaghetti and meatballs. We had an early Friday morning game to wake up to, so the coach put an early curfew on. It was met with protest, but he reminded us we had three nights at this hotel, so there would be plenty of time for fun. After dinner, most of the team went back to one of the kids rooms to play on his PS3. I decided to just go back to our room and watch TV, as I’m not much of a gamer. Adam came back with me, as did his mom, and she got us a pay-per-view to watch. A couple hours later, Mark returned, so Adam hopped into the bed with his mom. We all watched some TV together for a while, but by 10:30, the TV and lights were off. I was anything but tired, so I laid awake with my headphones on. Occasionally I would turn them off and hear everybody else sleeping. Sometime after midnight, I finally fell asleep myself.

Sometime later, I woke up to some movement on the bed right beside me. I was on the far side of the room, and the movement was not on the Mark side of the bed. I opened my eyes right as Adam slid under the covers beside me. There was a parking lot light right outside our window, and I could see the big smile on his face. He was pretty proud of himself.

He snuggled into me face to face, and whispered “hi.”

“Are you crazy,?” I whispered back.

“Relax. Both of them sleep like rocks. They won’t wake up. Anyway, I just wanted to lay here a little while.”

I leaned into him and gave him a soft, quiet kiss. He smiled from my gesture and nuzzled into me a little closer. I placed my hand on his shoulder and caressed the length of his arm, that was resting somewhere between us. After a few strokes, I moved my hand to his body, gliding my fingers over his ribs down to the uphill curve of his hip. I eventually resigned to just rubbing the area covered by his boxer briefs, as his knuckles awkwardly slid back and forth on my stomach. These weren’t ideal conditions, with limited space, and not wanting to move the bed too much. It was a very cuddly experience, and as innocent as this was, it did feel exciting and dangerous, too.

Then Adam did something I totally didn’t expect. Something that really raised the bar. He scooted his body down the bed a little bit. Just enough for his knuckles to drag across the top of my inevitable erection. At first I thought it might have been an accidental bump, but he continued to do it, over and over, moving it around inside my boxers. He looked up at me with a devilish smile and a hungry glint in his eye. He proceeded to scoot down further yet. Before I had a chance to protest, or rather investigate, I felt his fingers gently cup my balls, causing me to gasp. He ran his fingers up my length and back down a few times. Adam located the button that held my fly closed and pulled the flimsy fabric apart. He slid his fingers inside, and pulled me out through the opening. He wrapped his hand around me and started to ever so gently push and pull on my turgid flesh. It all happened so fast, I was having trouble keeping up. I kissed the top of his head and held my mouth there, for fear of being too loud from his erotic ministrations. He breathed heavily into my bare chest while he continued to carefully stroke me.

Unlike Kayla’s hand, Adam knew where the pleasure spots were, but who would know there way around a boys body better than another boy?  Even with him working so slowly and gently, he was bringing me to the brink. I tapped his shoulder, causing him to pull his head back and look into my eyes.

I whispered, “Adam. You’re gonna make me cum.”

The mischievous smile returned to his face and there was no let up in his movements below. A short time later, I closed my eyes, as my body tensed up, and I shot my orgasm somewhere between us, or on us, as it were. I reached for him and pulled him into me. Kissing him as hard as I dared to.

“You are crazy, aren’t you?”

“Felt good, didn’t it?”


“You’re welcome.”

“Thanks Adam.”

“You blasted me with your stuff, hehe.”

“Mmm…not my fault. You did it.”

“I know, and it was awesome.”

We cuddled for a while, until he made like he was going to leave. I grabbed him at his waist and shook my head no. I slid my fingers under his waistband and rubbed his hip. I pulled him into me and massaged his perfect, sexy butt, too. I pushed his briefs down his backside and nudged his naked hip, urging him to roll onto his back. He took my signal and rolled the rest of the way for me. I placed my hand on his sunken tummy and started to rub his soft, yet firm body. Gradually my path migrated south, exploring the exposed areas of his pubic mound. I could tell the anticipation was killing him, but I continued on my deliberately slow path. I looked into his hooded eyes and he managed a distant smile. He was already gone, in some other blissful world. I could feel his still concealed erection resting against my hand, as I massaged deeply into his silky, warm groin. I was excited and nervous, to the point of shaking. This was something I’ve wanted for so long, and now that I’m here, I’m having self doubt. The truth is, I’m past the point of no return now, so there’s only one way to go.

I peeled the fabric from under its tubular obstruction and slid my hand over to his waist. He lifted his butt for me, so I could slide his briefs off his other hip, down to his knees. I rode my hand up the front of his slim leg until I felt the soft tissue of his scrotum. I could feel the heat coming off of his expectant erogenous zone. I timidly set my fingertips on top of his unrestricted, warm erection. It reacted with so much throbbing and twitching. It was so alive. I rubbed the silky surface a few times, finally wrapped my fingers around it at the root. I pulled it back gently from his stomach and started to slowly stroke.  Adam let out a long sigh and his breathing deepened as I felt his heartbeat thumping through his impressive vessel. Bigger than my own in every way. Longer and thicker. Entirely too big for his small frame. I desperately wanted to lower the blanket and see him in all his glory, but thought better of it. I lost myself in another world as I continued to express my growing love for him, wanting nothing more than to make him feel so much pleasure.  I committed every detail to memory, knowing I would revisit this moment for many years to come.

For his part, Adam squirmed beneath me, lifting and lowering into my pumping fist. He put his hand on my forearm, gently sliding his fingertips up and down, mimicking the stroking motions as I performed. After several glorious minutes his leg muscles tightened, his back arched, and his wand jumped and pulsed in my grip as he let out a long, low moan, in concert with his rhythmic, seminal release. He rode the wave out, somehow keeping quiet, as his warm fluid ran down my knuckles, a reminder of my achievement.

I gazed at his flushed, content face. His open mouth gasping quietly for air. The blanket rising and falling from the work of his heaving chest below. His eyes fluttered open, catching me staring down at him. He swiftly lifted his head, placing a hard kiss on my mouth.

“That was…wow,” he whispered into my face, barely concealing his elation. “Oh man…wow. Thank you Daniel.”

“The pleasure was all mine.”

He rolled back onto his side, and snuggled closely into me and we held each other silently.  With every waking moment, I fell a little bit harder for him. He was an absolute dream come true, and I was the luckiest boy alive. We remained tangled like that until I woke up and saw I slight pink on the horizon out the window. I woke him as gently as I could and he snuck back into the other bed, pulling his underpants up as he walked away. I felt a loneliness with his absence, so I rolled over toward Mark. He was no Adam, but he was my alleged best friend, and a warm body to selfishly cuddle with. If what Adam said earlier was true, I could steal some warmth from him and he wouldn’t wake up. He was lying on his back, so I threw my arm across his stomach and melted into him.

A laid awake thinking about so many things. Here I was lying next to Mark. The place where it all started. While Kayla was opening my naive eyes to the world of sex, I always had my lust-filled desire trained on Mark.  All the while, he was probably baiting me, and I never took the risk to follow him. Then something broke down between him and I. We were drifting apart, and Adam walks in, offering me everything I ever wanted. Add the Kayla and Mark stuff. What a mess.  Now, as I lay here, holding Mark, I realize I still have strong feelings for him. What is wrong with me?  I feel like such a whore.  Is this normal?
I mean, who falls for brothers?  I’m starting to think I’d want to get into the pants of any boy that says hi to me, no matter what he looks like. Never mind the fact that Mark is freaking hot, and Adam is his clone, except even hotter, in my opinion. I just don’t know anymore. It’s like I have this emptiness and anyone who dares to be around me better be prepared for me to try and suck them in.

As if things couldn’t get worse, Mark woke up. He spotted my arm draped over him and he set his arm on top of mine. He squeezed my triceps and fell back asleep holding me. It was such a simple gesture, but given where he and I have been lately, it was huge. Like a peace offering. I laid awake some more, overthinking like I always do.

Morning arrived to the annoying sound of the alarm clock. It was at least three hours earlier than I would have preferred. Mark’s mom, being the rockstar that she was, offered to run to the lobby to grab some donuts and juice to bring back to the room, so we could stay lazy for a bit longer. After she left, Mark said in what I took to be a serious voice, “Daniel. Give me your hand.”

I did as he said, sending my hand over, under the blanket. He grabbed my wrist and positioned himself in a way where my hand was right up against the middle of his ass. Right as I was saying ‘wtf’ to myself, he farted, right on my hand. It was freaking disgusting. I actually felt the air pass through his underwear. I yanked my hand back and screamed.

“You sick bastard!”

“Ah haha!”

Needless to say, it was go time. I was on him like flies on stink. Headlocks. Arm-bars. Kicking. Punching. You name it, I did it. We were a hysterical, tangled mess. Fighting and laughing. Like an idiot, I let him pin me, only to have him rip another one, right on my stomach. I bucked him off and I swear his head nearly hit the ceiling.

“Ewe!  Stop it sicko!”

“I can’t help it. It’s the spaghetti.”

I held him down, to make sure he didn’t try it again. Mark was out of control with laughter, and if I wasn’t the target, I’d be right there with him. As things started to settle down, Adam emerged from the other bed. He stood at the side of his bed and had a good, arms over the head stretch, as he forced out an exaggerated yawn.

“The Hell Adam?  Did you piss yourself,?” Mark asked, looking at the obvious discoloration in the front of his ridiculously tight, deliciously revealing black boxer briefs. I held my breath and my eyes threatened to pop right out of my head. I knew full well what that stain was.

Adam, ever so cool under pressure, simply said, “why are you looking at my dick, Mark?  Pervert.”

Mark launched a pillow at him while saying, “bed wetter.”

Adam turned toward the bathroom, lifted his leg, and let loose a rather big fart. He took a few steps and looked over his shoulder toward us. He said “spaghetti,” and continued on his way.  Stopping only once to lift his leg again and shake it.

Mark and I both cracked up. If this was any indication of the day ahead of us, it was going to be outrageous.  I don’t know if I can clearly describe how much this simple little exchange with Mark meant to me. Sure, it was gross of him to fart on me, but it was more than that. On a different level, it told me that we were heading back to how we used to be.  It felt good again. For lack of a better term, we kissed and made up.

I got further evidence from Mark’s next comment. “You liked that, didn’t you?”

“Liked what?”

“Touching my butt?”

“Maybe without the gas!” I said, slapping his arm.

He smiled up at me, with my head propped up on my arm. “This is so awesome. The tournament. You back on the team. The hotel. You ready for the game?  How’d you sleep?”

“I slept pretty good. I was up for a while, but yeah, I’m ready to play.”

Adam came back out of the bathroom, and stage dove onto our bed, across my and Mark’s bodies.

“Ugh!  Get off, dork,” Mark whined, half serious. Adam squirmed his way around, until he was squeezed in between us, under the blanket. He nonchalantly reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine, while trading humorous insults with his brother.

“This’ll work fine,” he commented out of nowhere.

“What d’ya mean,?” Mark asked.

“This. It’s cozy. Sleeping with mom is weird. It sucked.”

“Dude. Kind of tight if you ask me. Sleep on that chair over there.”

“Yeah right. You sleep with mom.”

“No way.”

Adam shifted the focus to me. “What about you Daniel?  Do you think this’s big enough?”

“Well, we’re all kind of bunched up in the middle. It’d probably work.”

“Adam’s a spaz. I’m not sleeping next to him.”

“I’ll take the middle,” I offered, and Adam gave my hand a tight squeeze.

The day went really well. Mark and I were back in business. We won both of our games. I played fine. The team seemed happy to have me back. Adam sat next to me at Pizza Hut when the whole team went out for dinner. He was as normal as can be, if not a bit more flirtatious than usual. I must admit that as much fun as the hockey and hanging out with the team was, I was way more excited about getting back to the room and going to bed.

We did get back in the evening, got cleaned up, and changed. Mark’s mom was going to hang out in the lounge with some of the other parents and the team was all going to hang out at the pool. I agreed to join them and I could tell it bothered Adam that I was passing up an opportunity to be alone with him.

When we were getting ready to go, Adam said in an unnaturally somber tone “I think I’m staying here. I don’t feel too good.”

With slumped shoulders, he went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.  Mark shrugged it off and said, “let’s go.”

I could sense that Adam was lying, and I felt wholly responsible, so I said “I’ll catch up with you in a minute. I gotta take a dump.”

“Nice. See ya there poopface.”

With Mark gone, I went to the bathroom and tapped on the door. “Adam. You ok?”

He didn’t immediately answer, so I tapped again. “Adam. What’s going on. You’re scaring me?”

Finally, I heard his signature two pack of ciggies and a bottle of whiskey a day voice say, “it’s open. You can come in.”

I slowly walked in, spotting Adam sitting up on the counter with his legs dangling over the edge. His red eyes told me he’d been doing some crying.

“Hey. What’s wrong Adam?”


I reached out for his hand, placing his long, slim fingers in my palm. “Yeah right. Why are you so sad?”

He looked up for the first time, meeting my eyes, before glancing down again. “I just was hoping you’d want to hang back with me again.”

“That’s what I thought. So why don’t you come with, and we can hang out together there. You and me.”

“I don’t know. You and Mark want to hang out, so whatever.”

“Hey. There’s no reason we can’t all hang out. Anyway, Mark will probably be acting all crazy with the rest of the guys.”

“You said you wanted to hang out with me alone this weekend, but now that we can, you’re going with Mark.”

“Mark and I are getting along really good for the first time in forever. I kind of don’t want to ruin that again.”

“Yeah, but then you won’t want to hang out with me again.”

“Think Adam. If me and Mark hang out more, that means more sleepovers, so we can see each other more. Hell, I invited you into our bed for the rest of this weekend. Do you really think I don’t want to see you anymore?  I want to see you all the time.  Adam, I really like you, like way way a lot.”

I sat my hands on his thighs and rubbed them gently. “Why don’t you come to the pool with me. We’ll have more fun later in bed. Besides, nobody can see our hands underwater. The pool could be fun, too.”

Adam lifted his head and smiled. He knew I was making sense, and deep down inside, I could tell he wanted to hang out with me at the pool. I leaned into him and kissed his pretty mouth. “I’ll hang out with only you at the pool. I promise.”

Adam placed his hands around my neck, and I picked him up off the counter. I walked us out of the bathroom, which was no easy task, and we kissed a little while with Adam gripping my neck, and his legs crossed around my waist. I set him down, for fear of dropping him, and said “let’s go.”

“Ok,” he said cheerfully, and we made our way to the pool.

Swimming was fun and I know Adam was happy that he came along. True to my word, I spent all my time with him. A detail that didn’t go unnoticed. He thanked me for it, on our way back to the room. After a quick change of clothes, Mark was off to the ever popular PS3 room. He understood my general dislike of video games, so he didn’t protest my decision to stay back at our room.

“Hmm. Looks like we got the room to ourselves. I mean, unless you were gonna go to play video,” I said sarcastically.

“Yeah,” Adam replied enthusiastically, while putting on his shoes. “What room number is it?  Do you know?”

“I don’t know,” I said, suddenly shocked and sad. My voice sullen and quiet.

“I’ll figure it out, I guess. See ya later Danny.”


Adam walked out of the room, leaving me alone and feeling rejected.  Thirty seconds later he stormed back into the room. “Ahh haha!  I got you!”

I launched a pillow at him, shouting insults and obscenities. I did a fair bit of pouting, too. This turned into a wresting match, which turned into a bit of kissing and grabbing. We settled into just watching a movie together. Hands held and happy.

That night in bed, Adam was a party pooper. In fact, he fell asleep when we were all watching TV after Mark and his mom got back.  I held out hope that he’d come around at some point, but he was out for the entire night. To be honest, I don’t even think he moved once.  He was sleeping on his stomach, which is something I could never do, and a few times during the night, I slid my hand under his shirt and rubbed his back. Not because I wanted him to wake up. More because I loved the closeness and wanted to feel him.

Mark, on the other hand, was up to some of his old tricks. While I was laying on my back, and because the bed was pretty crowded having three of us, we were all constantly touching. Mark rolled into me, like I did to him the night before, and held onto my waist. He gently pinched me a few times, to see if I’d react. I didn’t, even though I felt it. A few minutes later, he slid his hand down my body, causing his arm to land right on my crotch. I thought the increase in my heart rate would blow my cover, but he left his arm there for quite a while. He gave me another pinch and actually shook my body too. Getting nothing from me, he made his next move, drawing his arm back, until his hand was atop my semi-aroused penis.

There was a time when I had decided I would end his secret exploration the next time he did it, and find out his motivation. I really wanted to be an active participant in my sexual adventures. However, things had changed with my blossoming relationship with Adam. I don’t know if getting this in the open is the best thing to do now. In my panic, I did nothing but play dead. He didn’t do nothing more than just leave his hand there for a while. When he did pull his hand away, he brought his leg up on top of me. He rested his head on my chest and threw his arm back around me. He fell asleep this way. It was very comforting, but also confusing.

I woke up the next morning, on my side, nuzzled tightly into Adam. I had the flat of my hand resting comfortably on his lower back. Behind me was Mark, spooned up tightly against my body, his arm draped over me, hugging snugly to my bare chest. If there was ever a perfect snapshot to define the predicament I found myself in right now, this would be it. What a fine mess my heart has made of my life. I loved them both so dearly.